My Key to My Angel

One time when I'm in Trinoma Mall alone, making my self busy going somewhere everyday, walking, thinking  just trying to forget little by little what happened to me and to my Angel. I saw this key chain maker on the side, then suddenly I decided to make one name after my son. I called it "MY KEY TO MY ANGEL" I just think that every time I hold my key, its just like I'm holding my son! I post it recently on my Instagram account (@mackenzieangeles) This is my key to my new life, my key to my angel!!

My Baby's 40 Days

Today is the 40 days of my Angel Makzie, I ask my mom to offer a mass for him and we attended it with my mom and my husband After we cremated him I told to my self I will be strong, I will be more tough to fight everything that will come along my way. But there are times I can't help my self but cry, I remember my little angel when he was in my tummy. He moves a lot, he seems nothing problem on his health. I can help my self but to ask the Lord above why my little Makzie, why him! I waited him to come into my life for so long and yet just after 11 days he's gone. My dreams and My life seems like fading away so easily. Every time I'll stay at home in every corner of our room I don't remember anything but only my Little Makzie, How I planned everything for him. His things are now safely kept on a plastic box, things that been bought with our happy life and happy smile. People always says "We are so proud of you for being so strong after what happened!" but the truth is,  I'm not strong, I'm getting weak and weak every day of my life. I'm so weak to fight for my everyday life without my son. He was my life, He was my courage to face everything with a strong heart and mind, He was my air to breath, He was my everything! But now how can I move on? How can I say to my self, "Be Strong everything has a reason!" Oh God knows! I'm fighting everything to be strong, but I can't! I'm the weakest person I'm ever know. How I wish I 'm with my son! How I wish I'm with him to make my life easier than this!  I have no one to talk to, I have no one to express my weakness , I have no one to turn too! I miss you anak! I love you more than my life MAKZIE!!!

'Nak tell me... "HOW CAN I GO ON WITHOUT YOU?"  ='(