DEAR LORD

Since last night I started to feel the pain again on my Lower abdomen. Sometimes it kills me with so much pain. I don't know what to do. I will have my TVS/FM again today, I hope everything is find and well.

Dear LORD,

I thank you for all the blessings that I have been receiving specially these past few days. I am so thankful that you always there to save me every time I need a hand to guide me. You never failed to help me in time of my trouble.  I am sorry for all the pain and sorrow that i have cause you. All the mistakes I have done to other people and to my self. My LORD please help me to through this battle. A battle of building my own family. A dream that I ever wanted since then. I know GOD the father is always there in our arms and heart. I will accept whatever chances and challenges you may give for I know you will never failed me to get through all the pain and sorrow I maybe in.

I LOVE YOU LORD with all my HEART!!

Please Guide me and Protect me.

PCOS again

April 18, 2011, came. I decided though o take a TVS/FM even my OB didn't require it I just wanted to check if again I had a dominant follicle but sad to say all of my follicles are less than 1.0cm PCOS again. Although only few follicles now remain small not unlike before but still my hopes went down i felt so depress that why we let the chance go so easy like that last month? It was our chance to have our own baby and start to build our own family.

I felt so down and depress that even my DH I notice that we don't do BD more often. I starting to ask my self, is there anything wrong with me? I always remember that my DH usually told me "You need to lose weight!" I know even they said that a woman who diagnosed with PCOS will be having  a hard time to lose weight still GOD knows i tried my very best. But I felt like was just fighting this battle alone? what is the use of medicine if we will not do our part to make it happen? why my DH doesn't have much time to BD is there anything wrong?

I started to feel pity for myself can we still ever do it?

I need to do something

After my first OB-GYNE check-up, Trans Vaginal Ultrasound, 1 month of medication of Metformin, Folic Acid, and Povera last March 16, 2010 months passed by but I didn't give so much effort to work out to have a baby on my own. I think I was too busy with my work, some problems and happens at that time even though my DH and I are not on good terms during those months. So I asked myself can I do this alone?

Then December 2010 came. I went to the OB-Gyne of my cousin who was referred by my auntie. Did I say why not try? there is nothing to lose anyway. what makes me more interested to see this new OB-Gyne my aunt said that aside from her daughter who is also irregular in menstruation most of her nieces are having a problem conceiving as well but through the help of this Doctor all of them is already a mother of there own child. It was then in December 2010 when I visit her. I'm with my friend at that time because my DH doesn't want to accompany me during those times.

I brought my old TVs and found them last march 16, 2010 when I visit Dr. MB she said the same thing that I was PCOS but what makes me feel that I like her, she said there is no serious problem aside from this. it can be corrected by medication, and she is also a PCOS but already a mother of two (i think so.. ) So she said I will be having medication for 6 months. almost the same medication but quite a higher dosage. She said I need to go back after 3 months with the new TVs as well.

I left the clinic with a smile on my face and felt all the chances that God can give me at that time. I thought it's gonna be an easy battle but again I was wrong.......