Miscarriage at 6 weeks

June 19,2018
Laundry Done. fixed our clothes. Cooked food for my boys. Around 1130am, while inside the bathroom, Kean and I are taking a bath. Suddenly I felt something came out. when I checked my Panty liner may brown spotting nnman ako . We supposed to bring Kean to Kumon that day and go out to buy some food but unfortunately, this happened so I ask mike DH to bring Kean alone to Kumon and buy some food, I need to take some bed rest.

while my boys are out. I prayed to the Lord sincerely.
" Lord, if this baby is really meant to be with us, please make our baby healthy, complete and strong. But if this is not meant for us yet, kunin mo na si baby gat maaga, na di pa ganoon kahirap tangapin."


June 20,2018
630am I usually wake up this early to go to the bathroom, but when I check again my panty liner. Another Brown spotting. I told to my self. I Think this is it. God Answered my prayers yesterday so quick. Then spotting stop. I just let it go. Hindi ko na siya inisip. Hinayaan ko lang siya.  then DH went to work early afternoon when Kean and I stayed in our room while fixing her school books, I felt something came out again. When I check mine, bright bloody red, I rushed to the bathroom then I saw my panty liner with a small blood clot and bright red blood.

I texted my OB right away, I told her what happened. She asked me to go to the clinic right away to do a scan to check if baby still there. I quickly fix Kean's things, change clothes and grab my Phone and book for grab, Ayoko my drive feeling ko di ko kaya.  I called my nanay, to meet me in the clinic kase baka magkulet si kean di ko kayanin. While inside the clinic waiting for my turn. I'm relaxed I'm ok. I'm talking to my self that I'm ready what ever it takes.

when the sono doing the scan. Only a few questions before she start. why you request for tvs, when is your lmp, who is your OBgyne. Then all throughout the scan, she is very quiet.  I wanted to ask questions, several attemps pero parang amy nag stop sakin magtanong agad. Then when sono says, ok tatangalin ko na. I ask " kamusta po ang baby ko doc?" sabi niya 6 weeks and 1 day still. andito siya. i ask again, " May heartbeat parin po ba?", ah, bakit may heartbeat ba ung last scan mo?" Yes, po. Kelan un? last Sunday po 84bpm. ahh wala pang 100bpm, Ngayon no visible heartbeat na siya. then she said your OB will explain everything to you. then I didn't cry at all at first, sabi ko eto na toh, when I went out of the room, My nanay ask, kamusta.? then I said, wala na siya. while waiting for the scan, I texted my OB, I said no more heart beat doc. Then my follow up message was, "Doc pwede bang natural ko nlang ilabas, di na ako mag papa D&C?" then she replied, yes Anjie no more heart beat na daw, kaso andun pa ang sac at embryo delikado if di tayu nag under go ng D&C .we need to schedule either Thursday or Friday.


I called my brother asking where can I do the D&C, in much lower fee, he ask why and then I said, the baby is gone, then thats the time I cried so hard, I cried so much. All the pain inside, I was able to release it by crying, then I call my husband then he said, wag kana umiyak? diba alam naman na natin ito ang mangyayare. tangapin na natin, mas ok na nalaman natin ng maaga, kesa may problema pala siya mas mahihirapan si baby at tayu. God has a plan.


June 21,2018 
D&C
12noon admit
5pm schedule for OR

Una plang I already inform the nurse na mag IV sakin na mahirap ako hanapan ng vein yun na nga namali ang una napakasakit...

here we go...

I even ask my OB for the last minute, if pwede ba akong mag out patient nlang for less gastos, but she refuse and said better namag pa admit ka anjie, so youc an use your philhealth, most important maka rest ka after the procedure.
I told her I was so afraid with D&C, ever since. OB assure I will not feel anything even before and after the procedure, but I know the anesthesia  na gagamitin sakin eh through IV lang but when I was in OR waiting for my OB kase biglang bumuhos ang malakas na ulan at ang OB ko na ipit sa traffic. So  my anesthesiologist and I nagkwentuhan sandali while lying down in OR bed, sabi niya she will do anes like epidural pero from the waist down lang daw, She doesn't like to use through IV mejo heavy daw ako so meaning mas madaling gamot, mejo worried siya if madami gamot baka di ako agad
magising, so she decided to the epidural and mild sedation.

I was sooo in pain noong ni iinject na for anesthesia sa spinal ko, I cant remember how many needles I felt. 4 ot 5? pero ang naalala ko is kung gaano kasakit. I just prayed that  I hope sana matapos na lahat ang gabi na yun...mas masakit pa when I had CS for 2x

I stayed in the hospital for a day, first time ko di makasama sa pag sleep si kean. Dinala ni nanay si Kean sa hospital, I have heard na super excited siya makita ako to go to the hospital kaso naka sleep na siya nung pumunta siya, I ask my brother to pick up nanay and Kean kase di na sila kakasya sa hospital and my niece stay with me in the hospital and DH need to go to work.

I know God has a purpose for everything. I know God has a reason why this happened to us. to our baby. I may not understand it now, but soon I know God will show me the way. I  love you Lord.