How to Move On..

I know its been 2 months and some people would say that its not that hard to accept my loss compare to others who loss there love ones after being them for years. I don't know if they would believed me if I would say that it was the most drastic, worst thing that ever happened to my life.

Ever since I found that my baby and I are starting to live for each other, he became my life. Every single day that I live I could say because of him but now that he is gone how can I move on? how can I tell to my self  everything has a purpose, everything has a reason if all my reason to live is my son?

I waited for him so so long, for my entire life. Sometimes when I'm alone thinking how sad life I ever have, why me? A lot of people who are so bad, mother who sell there kids,babies, parents who doesn't even bother if there children are ok.. Why my son? why him if you know that I'm gonna be a great mom to him. So many questions that I know its hard to look for an answer.  So many regrets... I hope that I manage to be more careful in my pregnancy.

Sometimes I can't help not to blame my self why all of these happened.... I hope I can find my peace, I hope I can find my way to move on.. How I wish you were here baby........ Please help me how to move on without you.... I love you so much....