Aunt Flo, Third Cycle Failed.

After I had a class ( my homebased Job) around 8:00AM today. I decided to take a bath which i usually do most of the time. When I'm about to go to the bathroom somethings came out on me. I already t he have already a doubt that it might me the one I'm expecting and afraid to know. My period or Aunt Flo then as soon as I close the door I check on it then its Fully RED BLOOD. It's my AuntFlo I don't know what to do, and the first thing that cam to my mind how can I say this to DH. I'm still on the denial stage that it might be a implantation bleeding because i just had my TVS/FM last monday and my lining still thick and in a good size, that was just 2 days ago and My period was due on October 07 today is just October 05. But Still I can't deny the fact that it is really Aunt Flo its heavy and its really color red. What makes me feel so bad was I'm having a severe menstrual cramps. So hard and I even cried for the pain.

Then I came out to the bathroom and trying to call my DH's name. then i said " I got my period today" he didn't say anything but after a few minutes he ask, why so fast? you just had a TVS and we just knew that your follicle burst out.?" i also don't know the answer. then I ended up having a 29Cycle this time.

I feel so bad but somehow I already prepared my self in this kind of failure. Before I always cried so hard till the whole day every time i remember it but now I'am more stronger and willing to fight. I remember my sister in law (sister of my DH) she said don't expect too much so you will not a hard time to accept if you failed. just go go go and do not stop. Keep fighting.

Now I'm ready for my 4th cycle of my Fertility Pill (clomid) by this time as my OB said twice a day. Still we have more power and more faith to fight. DH even told me don't worry we still have another cycle and this time your doctor said you will increase your dosage right? so in a way i felt so glad and my sadness easily fade away. I love my DH and My family.

Till the next round.!! =') Fight Fight Fight!!

Thin Endometrium

June 25, 2011: I started to take my medication every day as I remember. I'm trying to eat right as I could and take some exercises as well. But again I had my TVS / FM on this but It was so sad that I had a Thin Endometrium, signs that I was too PCOS, and no chance to ovulate or have a dominant follicle. I ask again why? I did everything I could but why still nothing happens? I started to question God, (which is the worst thing I did... ) why me? I'm not a bad person but why he was making this hard for me? I started to feel so down when most of my friends I knew are starting to build their families and here I am still fighting this battle, feeling alone.

I’m gonna do something about it. When I went back home, I felt so down again. I even fought with DH. I started to talk to my inLaw that I think my DH doesn't have the plan to have a Family on our own. I said in that case I wanted to start my new life even without him. I want to have my family and I’m not getting any younger. I told them I feel that I'm alone in this battle and that he doesn't give so much effort into this. He knows that this is the only dream I ever wanted in my whole life.

The question that stuck in my mind was " AM I a bad person?" I don't know what should I do but somehow I felt that I'm not happy anymore at that time.....then his whole family started to talk to him. I don't know what they did or what did they say but suddenly my DH talked to me asking for another chance. Not necessary that he said that directly but in a way he wanted to work out again. I said that I'm not happy and I felt that he doesn't like to have a baby which he knew that is all I ever wanted. Since then we considered ourselves to give another chance and this time we will work better than ever.  I know God is always with us.  After that conversation, I have more belief and Faith in our Lord, I felt so much hope again and I know he will guide us all through the way.

I went back to my OB for a check-up again that month and this time my DH is with me. My OB said I'm still PCOS based on my latest TVS at that time but she decided to continue the medicine again and start the CLOMID, a fertility pill that helps most women to have dominant follicle and to ovulate. We were so happy and we felt that we have a very good chance this time. We are still hoping for a good result for the next couple of months.

Almost same thing Happened on my July 25, 2011 TVS/FM

Baby Dust To All... Be Positive!!!

Dominant Follicle

After 3 months came, it was March 17, 2011 before I go to visit again my OB-Gyne, I had my TVS/FM for the 2nd time around. I was so happy to know that the Doctor who made the TVS said I had a dominant follicle it was size 1.9x1.6cm although i still have some couples of small follicle who didnt grow enough in both ovaries but still I can consider this miracle without any help of Fertility Pill I was able to have a good Follicle. The doctor even ask me if I taking some Fertility Pill and then I said no she said "Really? So you mean it is really your egg. Great!"

What really makes me sad was.. at this time my sister in law was having a vacation in the Philippines. We are going out almost every night and go home late. the day I found out that I have a good dominant Follicle I told to my DH with a smile on my face. That my OB asked us to BD because it could be a good chance. But we didn't anything about it, ='( Hubby drunk so many beers at that night and we were not able to BD I felt so sad  that we let go of this good chance that we had. I just became so positive and I know it will happen again....

Again here is a copy of my Follicle Monitoring Last March 17, 2011