New OB-Gyne, First Check Up

After what happened to Mackenzie (my First Born child, passed away after 11 days) even how much I wanted to stay on my OB I and DH decided to transfer and look for a new OB-Gyne if we will be expecting for our Second Pregnancy. 

Now that I'm pregnant, we struggle to find a great OB-Gyne who will take good care both of us all throughout my pregnancy, after knowing our history from our First.  As you know, It's not easy to look for another Ob-Gyne or to transfer, knowing that I'm PCOS and my previous OB knew my history regarding my infertility, but to tell you the truth, the only reason why we choose to change OB because she only affiliated on one hospital which we don't like it anymore. I love my OB so much, she is great and she is fantastic for me. I just don't know why only one hospital she is into.

I knew my present OB because of Women's Ultrasound where I'm doing my scan before when I was TTC. 

I told to the secretary that I wanted to change my OB, and she asked me which doctors who had a chance to scan you before that you feel good about it? and then I told her who it was although I didn't know the name yet and then she said "ahh, Dra. Diamante" the same day I had my second TVs, Dra. Diamante will be in the clinic around the afternoon, so I asked to be back around 3pm. 

Finally, I was able to meet the one who will take good care of us. "Dra. Dulce Corazon Bautista -Diamante" Ob-Sonologist.

I told her about what happened to my first pregnancy and to my baby. The detailed story so she would know everything, she needs to know. She somehow told me about one of her patient who has almost the same story about what happened to me and to my precious baby, Her patient also gave birth from First Pregnancy and baby died after 1 week, the previous OB didn't knew that the mother was suffering from diabetes and she gave birth on a preterm, after that she decided to change OB and Transfer to Dra. Diamante, and still for the second pregnancy, her patient got preterm giving birth on the 33weeks, but as to check her baby almost on the 35weeks so after the baby screening on the next day, Dra. said they would able to go home and Baby is fine and healthy. 

She asked a lot of questions regarding my previous pregnancy, I asked some questions as well regarding my situation and I could say, I can feel her, I can feel her concern towards us (me and my baby), I love to be in her care, she is as well nice as of my previous OB, I prayed and I prayed a lot that, God will guide us throughout my  pregnancy. I will surrender all my faith and love in God to guide, protect and give her precious Love to both of us. 

She saw my recent scan. She said like what the Sonologist said, my Gestational Sac and Yolk Sac, looks so great. Baby even have the Embryonic Pole but sometimes still out of range as the findings said for its too much early to detect.  She asks me to take Duphaston for 2 weeks and Folic Acid continually.  She asks me to go back and we see each other again and repeat the scan to check the heartbeat of my baby, by that time,  the heartbeat should be visible and active on April 18.

Duphaston, 2x a day for 2 weeks, Actually this is the first time I will take this med, although I already read a lot about Duphaston and maybe because of my history she asked me to take this for 2 weeks for our own protection. Folic Acid for me is normal, for I was into Folic Acid over and over again. Since I was TTC and till from my first pregnancy, For what I know, folic acid is very important for TTC and soon to be a mom.

We love to hear your prayers for both of us. I hope You will lend us a minute for your prayers for our safety (me and my baby). I will do everything that I could just to protect my baby inside my womb. I'm begging our Dear Lord Jesus Christ to protect us every day, and guide us till we face the 9months. Lord, we don't know how to thank you for all the graces and blessings, especially for a new baby. Lord, I'm here again saying hundred of Thank You's for trusting us again to be a parent. I Love you with all my Heart Lord.

 Prayers During Pregnancy

Dearest Mary, I look to you now for the help of your maternal love. You understand my trials as an expectant mother. You bore Jesus in your womb. You know the doubts and anxieties that beset me; you know the bodily suffering I endure. Like you, may I turn all these sorrows into joy. You overcame anxiety by loving trust in God; you overcame doubt by gentle resignation to His will.
Your motherhood lifted your mind above the earth and kept it close to God.
So speak to Jesus now with me, beloved Mother, as I seek prayerfully to learn to bear the trials of motherhood with joy.
Mother of Perpetual Help, Pray for me!

http://www.2heartsnetwork.org/pregnant.htm

Second TVS - Second Pregnancy

I thought having a second tvs around this time would be able to check yolk sac and baby's heartbeat. As per the first sonologist return or repeat after 2 weeks and more visible and more accurate, yes she is right, the sonologist informed me that my gestation sac and yolk sac was perfect in shape, + in embryonic pole, but the heartbeat was too early to detect, as per my gs I'm just 5 weeks and 1 day but from my LMP I'm 6 weeks and 1 day, hmm I did a back read on my post from the first time we heard my baby's heartbeat,and  its right, I was 7 weeks and 1 day from LMP and 6 weeks and 1 day in GS size, so probably next week the heartbeat of baby should be here, but my OB asked me to go back after 2 weeks so that is April 18, 2013. 

More prayers and rest. We are asking for your prayers my dear readers, This is the most important now in
my life, in Our Life...

First TVS - 2nd pregnancy

March 23, Again some paranoia came in to me every pregnancy I had. I saw some blood while doing my thing in the bathroom last May 17, before that I visit my dentist last May 14,did some few anes to check on my jacket, May 16 evening, we had a home service massage that time without knowing that i will be going to have a baby bump soon. Through these actions, I have been bothered since I found our I was pregnant. So I decided to undergo TVS even though its to early to check on it (around 4 weeks) just to make me feel good and stress free for what i have done before having the BFP

Again, God answered our prayers in Surprise

It's been what? 3 months since the last time I update you guys. remembering my baby Angel above in All Souls Day last year November 2012. Now, its March and a lot of things happened in our lives. If you will remember, I post saying I will fight and try to fight this battle of having a complete family, infertility no more for I was PCOS FREE as my last scan says but still there were times, can't help my self to think what if, my PCOS will be here again and my battle of  having a complete family will again change to battling infertility. 

months came 'till the year 2013 is here, still no success. I could say, "No success?" partly I know why because we never got too serious recently to make another one. we sometimes do baby dance but not to the extent we are trying very hard. We tried it on our own without help or my OB-Gyne. Since we decided to fight it again or to try it again. We talked about it. Trying without the help of any medicines or any help of fertility guide. February 2013 came, again my sister in law will here in Manila for a vacation with her boyfriend and we plan to visit Boracay Island for their first tour in Manila on February 24-27,2013.

My last LMP February 17, 2013, we did a baby dance February 25, 2013, its just 9th day from my last lmp, as I know for work up, we need to start 10th day to 20th day in every other day. We never thought of doing it for the purpose of trying to have a baby but as a couple, a married couple would have this kind of intimacy. and it follows another 2 baby dance,  Dates? I don't know exactly remember for we are not really on serious about it, We just keep on praying if Gods Time, He will give it to us again. 

March 2-3, we went for an overnight stay in Tagaytay City. We even had a fight on the 3rd of March before we left the resort. I asked my sis in law if we can drop by again in Church so-called  "Little Manaog" If you will remember my post before, I found out my first pregnancy 2 months after we visit "Little Manaog" and my first time to wrote my petition letter for giving me a wonderful gift in my womb. Again, March 03, 2013 I wrote another petition letter for giving me trust again to be a mom. To answer our prayers for having another baby. I prayed to all the saints around me inside that Church. Holding their hands and holding my tummy, asking, seeking for an answer, for a gift of love and a gift from God above. I followed the prayer of One Holy Mary that stands inside the church, Looking into her eyes, Closing my eyes and remember her face while saying "Please God, Mary grant me the child I was begging to have again. Giving me another chance to make it right this time." I even offer a candle prayer saying the same wish I keep on praying.

March 17, 2013, expecting my Aunt-Flo for I know we never had a chance to complete the baby dance, Although some changes occur while waiting for this date, I've noticed I eat a lot from my normal meal. I always hungry which I don't know why.  But still, I don't want to give any false hope for my self. When I went to the bathroom on this same day, after I do my daily routine in the morning I have noticed some blood, Again, I said to my self, I think it will be here anytime soon. I decided to buy some pregtest, and do it. I don't know if it's too early or whatever, but I can say I can view some 2 lines, although the second line was too blur to be visible so I decided to think its negative and throw it.

March 19, 2013, I texted my OB-Gyne that we decided to seek help from her again for another workup plan. Although my husband wants to change OB not because she is not good but because she only accredited on one Hospital and that is "Chinese General Hospital" which we don't like it anymore. Still, I told him, She knows my history so I decided to work up again from her and if I got pregnant I'll transfer for the new OB for the new hospital. She asked me to do some test again for starting the new work up. and I said will visit her next week.

March 20, 2013, came we went to our friend's house for a visit, knowing we don't have work on this day. We went to SM Masinag, We cooked, and I even carry my niece (3 years old) on the way to the parking lot. and I bought some Pregtest again in Watson 2pcs of the test in 1 box. (120Php), I also bought some Folicard and Zemen SX for my hubby as my OB required. My friend asked me to take a test at their house but I said I will just use it tomorrow morning at home, I drive home, my hubby asked me to for he is feeling quite tipsy a little bit. Then a few minutes after we arrived home I went to the bathroom to take a bath but before that, I took a test, few minutes after the 1st line is visible indeed but the 2nd line is starting to show up. I can't explain my feelings but first I was scared but deep inside I am happy. I opened the bathroom door and show the test to my husband and ask him how many lines he can see without knowing whats the meaning of 1 or 2 lines visible. He said right away, "I can see two lines, why?" I just told him, keep on waiting if the second line will be a little bit darker, but whatever it is, it still says POSITIVE. I'm Pregnant!! This time Ona ly few days after I went to "Little Manoag" to answer my prayers, they say it probably already meant to be! But  I still believe that the Church is so powerful that they all heard my sincere prayers. Promise, I'll make it right this time.

          ("Little Manaog" is the Church in Tagaytay City for Less Child Couple. So powerful church..)

God is really good. God blessed and trust us for doing it again and make it right this time. ILOVEYOU Oh LORD! Thank you for this Advance Birthday Give you have given me. I love you with all my heart. Baby Makzie my Angel, Thank you for guiding us all throughout this journey baby. I love you so much, Mama miss you a lot. You will be always in my Heart.

Still remebring you

It was All Souls Day, I visited you in Nanay's room where you place in her altar with her precious saints around you. I was alone then holding you with my rosary. Talking to you just you are by my side. I miss you baby! I slept while holding you and after a few minutes I woke up and my tears started to fall again......

I know it will mever easy not remember you, you are the reason for most first time that ever happened in my life.  While listening to my favorite song. I can't help my self butI cried so hard. Saying the words again and again "miss na miss na kita 'nak!"  (Missing you so much, baby!") I cry and cry in the other room while your dad is in the our room. I remember when I first hold your hand. Touch you feet and feel your ear! It was the most precious moment in my life!  Miss you so much baby mackenzie! Mama, will always pray for you and you will stay in my heart forever!!

Forgive me when times I still cry when I remember you. You are the reason why I still fighting and still having beleive in my self that we can still continue our journey having you in my memories. You are the reason why I've learn so many lesson in my life. The more I dream of holding you in my arms the more I wanted to fight the battle of having a complete family with you in our hearts!!!


ILoveYou my dear baby this is for you from Mama & Papa,

I made this video for an angel named Mackenzie that left this world much too soon. If you would like more information on how to request a video for your angel please visit http://angelbabymemorials.blogspot.com God Bless! - Lynda

PCOS FREE, Forever?

As refer to my post in the month of July 2012, I had my first TVS after giving birth last July 25th and the scan said that my left is starting to be PCOS again? Although a few months of giving birth my auntflo have become normal so I don't why I'm starting to be PCOS again on my left last July. Maybe because I'm starting to gain weight again, like what I said in my last post, food became my best friend after all the depression I came through.

Just October 24, 2012, my scan telling us that I'm PCOS free? The Sonologist who've done my scan and my OB who saw my scan the following day referring to my scan It says I'm PCOS free. Now my question is "Is it Forever?" No one can say it's forever. While doing this blog I found that because numbers of women out there or all over the world are suffering and battling infertility due to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, we PCOS women already have "PCOS Awareness" month already I don't know if you girls already knew about this but as for me I only found out today.

As my OB said probably due to my diet or trying to lose more weight was one of the reason why somehow I'm "Power Over PCOS" I don't know if this will work for you girls as we know we have different body time, different problems why we are battling PCOS but  I know trying to lose weight will be one of a great way to start battling PCOS, as for those who are healthy and slim enough why they are still suffering PCOS, there are a lot of reason why PCOS is always visible to a women like us. So better to consult and seek help to an OB-Gyne.

Soon I found out my that I'm starting to be PCOS Free,  DH and I came out with the decision why not to try it again for this month October was a good start knowing that "I'm Fertile" again on my Left just like my first pregnancy and having a good size of matured follicle without the help of  "Fertility Pill"  So after this cycle only God knows if he will grant us again a small peanut in my tummy after 2WW or 10days after November 9th if my auntflo still not visible!

Just yesterday, I had lower abdomen cramps which really hurt but tolerable! More of my right side. Some say, probably I was ovulating, conceiving or maybe aunt Flo is about to come! Who knows? No one but only God Knows! I also have a slight fever due to my severe sore throat, I don't like to take any antibiotics or chemical medicine but I just tried to use some home remedy like gurgling sea salt and Luke warm water, and drinking warm water with lemon and honey! Because of the sore throat, I'm having a headache once in a while since yesterday! I hope this remedy works for me and a little fast because of Pains like killing me to death! :(

Let's wait and see If God will make this year memorable again for our family especially for me and DH!

Till next update! If you wish to ask questions or need help and somehow you know I can help, then
I'm willing just send me an email:anjch23@gmail.com

I decided to give it a try again

It's not easy for me to make this decision. I have to consider so many reasons before deciding to give it try, "Again!". Before this decision came up  I struggled some depression, sadness, and loneliness in my everyday life after losing my baby boy Mackenzie. I tried to accept everything and believe that everything has a reason, why it happened to us and to my baby. 

Last August my DH and I are having some problems. I became so sensitive in everything he says and does.  We didn't talk for almost a month.  Leaving our house every day is my way to forget the things that we are going through at that time. Eating, eating and eating! Eating more and more, food became my best friend at that time till September came in and I found out My weight reach 197lbs. I cried and talk to self. " This is not right," "This is not good!" "I need to wake up in this nightmare!" 

Then suddenly My friend from Kuwait send me a Viber message. We talked and exchange stories about our lives.  I said I'm so big that food was my fall back to fight depression and now I wanted to lose weight! She recommends her secret, which will make your appetite drastically down.  I started to diet on September 15th, eating one meal in a day without eating rice at all...

October came in, knowing I'already lose 20lbs. Sometimes it's hard! Decided not to eat rice since I started to go on a diet is a strong fight but I did. Hoping to lose more!  I started to run at least 3x a week with my DH around our subdivision! Just to help me to lose weight more! 

My aunt Flo was a day delayed this October so I felt scared and nervous thinking that my PCOS might be there again! Knowing that after giving birth I'm soon time getting my aunt flo! So I texted my OB asking why it's like this and saying I was so scared and wanted to know if my PCOS went back again so if yes, I wanted to start my meds again battling PCOS so when I'm ready and if I can, getting pregnant again will not be hard for me! My ob asked me to wait for 10days delayed then do TVS, then she said: "maybe you are pregnant!" I texted her back saying "no doc, we are not doing baby dance since then!" Then waiting for10days delayed but in the 9th day my aunt Flo came, so happy and kinda relief.  Maybe it's just stress that makes my aunt Flo a little bit delay this month or maybe because I'm on a diet, anyway I really don't know what's behind it...

Last October 23rd,  It's our 8th years anniversary! The anniversary that we thought will not be able to celebrate because of things that we been through, nightmares that been hunting me for so long! But I' m so blessed, DH didn't give up on me even the times he knew I already giving up on everything! We had a baby dance! 12:30midnight to be exact. My 15th day from LMP. 

October 24,  Next day I decided to do my TVS (my 16th day) while doing the ultrasounds, feeling so nervous and shaking! Then the Sonologist said, "you are fertile on the left!" (knowing I produced Matured follicle on my own, size 1.8cm) I just replied "Really doc?" Then she checked on my right ovary if she can see some signs of PCOS but while checking she said: "I don't see any signs of PCOS on your right ovary!"  I said, "Thank you, Lord, Thank you, baby!" 

As soon as it's done I can't wait to tell DH the good news! Then I texted my OB, I ask when I can see her coz I'm done with my TVS! And I really wanted to find out if no signs of  PCOS again. She asked to visit the next day October 25th.  We leave the NeoMedica Clinic with a smile on my face! Sooo happy and so much joy in my heart! Then suddenly I said to my self   "God is really good!" "Is this the sign I've been waiting for?"

 October 25th, Thursday, 17thday, I went to my OB to visit her for my check up! She asks how am I? Looks that I lose weight as per her, So I told her I'm on a diet! She said that's great! Then she asks about my TVS and she said right away! "Your ultrasounds are so great! I think you are PCOS free! You  even have a matured follicle and it's really good shape!"  I replied  "really doc? Do you think there's still a chance to be PCOS again?" She said, "Yes, there's a chance but in your case, you have a good scan today so just keep on losing those excess weights and eat more good fruits and food with exercise!" 

I think if you want, you have a big chance of getting pregnant this month, then i told her that our last baby dance was October 23rd, she said we just have to keep on doing it again because there is really a big chance to conceived again!!! So, I didn't think twice anymore! I ask her if It's really ok to conceieved as early as today (if Gods will) because its just 5months ago when i had my C-Section because as far as i know you have to wait atleast a year so everything is perfectly find!  But she said, my uterus are so thick and so nice! So trying to get pregnant again is not a problem! ❤❤

So after my check up! DH and I talked about it! Till we come up with a decision to give it a try again! If Gods will i know he will give it to us! I know he will guide us all through this journey with my baby Angel beside him!  Then DH suddenly said  we will change  everything this time! if i have to sleep on couch just for you not to feel stress i will do it... This time you have to control your anger and try not to feel the stress!!

I just said... "Promise!" 

I hope we will able to fight this battle again to have a complete and healthy family! Another journey and another story of our life is about to begin again........ I know baby mackenzie is always with us to give us strength and hope all the way!!! Ilove you baby! Mama and Papa will always be so proud of you and happy that you became part of our life... Tomorrow is another day to smile and to enjoy life with our love ones! Another day to be thankful that God give us another day to fulfill our dreams and finished our journey!!! 

Thank you GOD for undying blessings and guidance!!!!Baby dustto all... Again!!!