Baby Dance Finally at Day15

We usually have baby dance around 9:00 in the morning but this time I feel so anxious because I wanted to do the baby dance but I'm so afraid that he might reject me too. Around 8:30 in the morning my niece use to ask me to lay down on bed with her and she wanted to do that on our room in on our bed. Without me knowing that my hubby are getting ready already for our baby dance but how he can inform me about that if my niece is with us in our room.  =') but of course i didn't know this until he told me about it, so while waiting and i know and i thought that he doesn't have plan so I need to do something, while sitting on our bed something came out on me, and when i went to the bathroom its Cervical Mucus and in Egg White texture which is means that as the recent readings i had "I'm Ovulating" I felt sudden nervous because I was thinking like we are not doing the baby dance and if i am really ovulating today I had a big chance to lose and failed this cycle so I run out of the bathroom and called DH, and i said about my CM and he just said like, maybe your period are starting to come out again?!! what a heck?!! I didn't expect that he will said that. I said impossible i just had my period last Oct 5 and it's white not red hello!!!  

Then good thing my niece stand up and went to her Nanny. then a few minutes after he said let's do it and close the door and he said how can we do it when your niece is with us just like last night?!!! He had a point1 =') 

So we ended up doing it. But then again I felt something bad because again i felt some waste from my hubby so I feel not all of my hubby's cell came in. ='(  I just pray and Hoping again God's will give us miracle.

Baby Dust To All!!!

Cycle 4: 13Day Leading Follicle

I just had a Follicle Monitoring this early morning. I went to the Women's Ultrasound Clinic early so I can be first in the list =) but surprisingly when I came it even though the clinic is still close First Patient is already there, it means someone is earlier than me haha. 

Anyway, My Follicle Monitoring Or ultrasound result was so great! I can see that only few immature follicle are visible in my ovaries like 4-5 pcs I think and if last cycle I had  matured follicle on the right ovaries and this time I have 1.5cm x 1.2cm on the left I was so surprise although I already expecting it a bit because the dosage of my clomid this cycle is a double that usual dosage for my past 3 cycles. and this time i only have 1 leading and 4 small follicles around on my left not like before i think it was 10 small follicles =') and the size today was a bit ok unlike before all less than 1.0cm. 

I went to my OB today for another check up she said my response in clomid 100mg is great. Although my OB said it's still consider PCOS but not as much as before and not worst at all. She said I need to have repeat FM on Thursday Day 15 what makes me surprise, she said if the result of my FM on Thursday will be good and my follicle get bigger she will give me shot of PREGYNL although I already heard about this on my  recent readings about TTC women's . This  is to able to burst the follicle on time so the couple can maximize or the OB can state the exact date of baby dance but still I feel so nervous. (what is PREGYNL?). Anyway let see  on thusday what will be the result and still hoping for God's miracle.  some OB Gyne can consider my situation bit PCOS anymore because I was able to produce good eggs already. =')

I asked the sonologist who did my Follicle Monitoring if the clomid  had a side effect of making your lining thin. But she said no, my lining was even perfect and in good size as she said knowing I had a double dosage of my clomid this time.  I also asked my OB about it but she said not really true she said it depends on woman body but most of the time women conceived on clomid itself. Feel so Positive!!

I'm happy but on the other hand a bit sad because even I relay the result of my FM and what my OB said to my DH not to mention I went to my OB alone because he has to work he just had a simple reaction on it. At the end of the day, even i already inform DH that i had a good follicle we didn't do our usual baby dance ='((( from this moment I was holding my lower abdomen while saying "Please don't burst yet, hubby and I didn't do our baby dance!!!" I ended up crying!!  and still hoping and never lose hope!  Cross fingers.

Sad

Today I feel so sad and alone.  Alone fighting in this battle. Today supposed to be its my Day10 the First day schedule of our baby dance for my 4th cycle of clomid but suddenly DH told me "Maybe we can start after 2-3 days?" then i don't know why i just quickly answered like "It's up to you!!" then he said what does my OB said anyway, i told him the same process the same schedule. He was thinking because I maybe again will have a late leading follicle just like last month when I had a FM on day17 we just found out i have 1.4cm leading follicle but we started to baby dance at day10 to day20 as my Ob schedule. I told him what is the use of going to my OB for check ups and work ups when we are not going to follow the schedule or rules given by my doctor. I felt like he is already getting lazy to fight this battle with me, why I had a feeling that he is loosing hope already/

Then suddenly maybe he felt some guilt about what i said then he suddenly laid down on bed and asking for baby dance, I feel so angry and feel so sad at that moment and wanted to cry so my initial reaction was really negative. I said it's already late I'm not in the mood. He even joke about it by telling me " don't worry I will let you in the mood " then smile but still he didn't able to force me to do it that night.  I just heard him said " If you dont want it then find wait till the next cycle!" i didn't mind that but I just pray instead to forgive me and to understand my feelings and I said to the Lord i will let him decide for my dream to be a mom.

I slept with worries in my mind. I been having a hard time to fight this battle since then financially, emotionally and spiritually. But I know God is always there to guide me and support me i just always said that I will lay everything now with him. 

 

Ovulation Charting

Someone advice me to try to chart my BBT (Basal Body Temperature) I tried to look for a BBT thermometer but it's damn hard to find one. Instead I use digital Thermometer I started to chart and check my body temperature from the DAY1 and here is my chart. You can do it too, try http://www.fertilityfriend.com 
in fertilityfriend.com they were able to predict your ovulation days and days you are fertile and good for baby dance.  You can show your present calendar up to the next cycle so you can check.

There are some rules to follow before getting your right temperature here to help:

Some says it's more accurate of useful that OPK or Ovulation Predictor Kit. Why not try?

Good Luck To Us,

Clomid: New Cycle, New Chance

Clomiphene Citrate so called CLOMID most of us women who are fighting a battle against infertility are embracing the Clomid like me who giving us another hope and chance to be a mom.

Today, It's my second day. DAY2 is the start of my Clomid to DAY6 but this time i will be taking it 2x a day as prescription 100mg per day unlike for the past 3 cycle only 50mg a day. I don't know but I feel so much hope and positive for this cycle although i already heard so many issue's that they already done with 100mg of clomid but still no successful BFP after that. I already assured by self that i will be more positive from this cycle. I prepared my self and I will do everything to make this better.

I'm positive because I was able to ovulate before on my right ovary with the help of 50mg clomid what about this time that I'm already taking 100mg of Clomid.

So POSITIVE and be more POSITIVE! that is my goal...

Aunt Flo, Third Cycle Failed.

After I had a class ( my homebased Job) around 8:00AM today. I decided to take a bath which i usually do most of the time. When I'm about to go to the bathroom somethings came out on me. I already t he have already a doubt that it might me the one I'm expecting and afraid to know. My period or Aunt Flo then as soon as I close the door I check on it then its Fully RED BLOOD. It's my AuntFlo I don't know what to do, and the first thing that cam to my mind how can I say this to DH. I'm still on the denial stage that it might be a implantation bleeding because i just had my TVS/FM last monday and my lining still thick and in a good size, that was just 2 days ago and My period was due on October 07 today is just October 05. But Still I can't deny the fact that it is really Aunt Flo its heavy and its really color red. What makes me feel so bad was I'm having a severe menstrual cramps. So hard and I even cried for the pain.

Then I came out to the bathroom and trying to call my DH's name. then i said " I got my period today" he didn't say anything but after a few minutes he ask, why so fast? you just had a TVS and we just knew that your follicle burst out.?" i also don't know the answer. then I ended up having a 29Cycle this time.

I feel so bad but somehow I already prepared my self in this kind of failure. Before I always cried so hard till the whole day every time i remember it but now I'am more stronger and willing to fight. I remember my sister in law (sister of my DH) she said don't expect too much so you will not a hard time to accept if you failed. just go go go and do not stop. Keep fighting.

Now I'm ready for my 4th cycle of my Fertility Pill (clomid) by this time as my OB said twice a day. Still we have more power and more faith to fight. DH even told me don't worry we still have another cycle and this time your doctor said you will increase your dosage right? so in a way i felt so glad and my sadness easily fade away. I love my DH and My family.

Till the next round.!! =') Fight Fight Fight!!

Getting stress everyday

Today is October 04, 2011. I'm getting nervous while waiting for my next AF in 3 days. Asking my self  questions like, what will I do if I'll got my AF on October 07? what will do If i will be delayed. So many questions but still can't find any answers no choice but to wait that day.

We went to my in laws because DH need to something there with his cousin. So Ieft with his mom and aunt. Sharing some stories I even shared our stories while trying hard to have our own baby and ended up then we ended up all laughing on it. His aunt even says that she will give us money to help us in our check ups and' medicine. My mom in law even teach me how to massage my lower abdomen because as you know oldies still believe on saying 'Baka mababa ang matres mo?"

In a way it's good chance to lessen my stress thinking my AF and my ovulation. =')

All i have to do is to Pray, Pray, Pray! Faith and more Faith! I can do this.

Corpus Lutuem

I just had a TVS/FM i waited at the women's ultrasound for about 4 to 5 hours. The first sonologist was not able to do it with me due to her schedule so I need to wait for another Sonologist to check on me.

Then after a few hours the long wait is finally over.It took only about 5-10 minutes. So I found out my dominant follicle already burst out. Corpus Lutuem Then the only question she asked was "You still doing your baby dance right?" then I said yes.I asked if we will able to know when it burst exactly, then she said we were not able to know the exact date but definitely not recently.

So actually I don't know what will i ever feel at that day. will i be happy because it burst out? or I feel nervous and afraid if the sperm was able to to his job or did we do the baby dance on a right time.

So many questions but left unanswered. I don'y have any choice but to have till my next AF or if not wait after 4-6 days till i do the PT. Still crossing fingers.

My lower abdomen are starting to feel the same pain before again.

Prayers for me!!

DEAR LORD

Since last night I started to feel the pain again on my Lower abdomen. Sometimes it kills me with so much pain. I don't know what to do. I will have my TVS/FM again today, I hope everything is find and well.

Dear LORD,

I thank you for all the blessings that I have been receiving specially these past few days. I am so thankful that you always there to save me every time I need a hand to guide me. You never failed to help me in time of my trouble.  I am sorry for all the pain and sorrow that i have cause you. All the mistakes I have done to other people and to my self. My LORD please help me to through this battle. A battle of building my own family. A dream that I ever wanted since then. I know GOD the father is always there in our arms and heart. I will accept whatever chances and challenges you may give for I know you will never failed me to get through all the pain and sorrow I maybe in.

I LOVE YOU LORD with all my HEART!!

Please Guide me and Protect me.

Ovulation Predictor KIt (OPK) *confuse

Again, I started to use OPK but so confused after 3 box I haven't had a chance to get positive result. Even though on that day I was already having a dominant Follicle in good size and anytime as they said it will burst.
Maybe some Test i did was at the wrong time so I have learn thru readings that the best time would be between 10am to 8pm and do not intake too much water 2 hours before you did a test. They said test should begin depends on your cycle in my case i started on my DAY 18th i don't know its right but i just followed when the time i had my TVS and found out i have good size follicle here are the copies of some OPK .

Day18th - Sept 24/10pm

Day20th - Sept 26/9AM

 Day 21th - Sept27/ 1030AM

Day22nd - Sept 28/2:30pm

Day23th - Sept.29 / 1030PM

Day 24th - Sept 30 / 750pm (Test2)

Day 24th - Sept 30 1.30pm (test1)

Day25th - Oct 01 /2pm (test1)

Day 25th - Oct 01/ 630pm (test2)

Day 26th - Oct 02/ 130pm

I will have my TVS/FM again today. Then what ever result may be we will visit my OB again tomorrow.
Goodluck!! GOD is GOOD!! More prayers..

More update soon....

3rd Cycle "The memorable One"

This month September 2011 is my 3rd cycle of Clomid. I was so nervous because my OB said at that time she will just let me go through 3 cycles of Clomid. So I was thinking this will be the last chance for this year or I need to rest because they usually said Clomiphene makes the women lining so thin.


September 07, 2011: DAY 1 / My LMP (Last Menstruation Period) I started to drink medicine every day. I see to it that I will not miss even a single pill in a day. Then I seriously talked to my hubby that we need to do something on this cycle. It can be our last for the year as I know so we need to do our best.

September 16, 2011: DAY 10th Start of our BD as my OB said. A woman who takes Fertility Pill would have a schedule of  BD from DAY 10th to DAY 20th in my case From September 16-26th, 2011 every other day. We never missed a single day. I know it's gonna be so hard but I'm so blessed this time that I can feel the effort and willingness of my DH to do everything to make this work.

September 20-21, 2011: DAY 14-15th I started to feel so much pain in my lover's abdomen. It was like a pinching pain or something so sharp are points on it then suddenly it will go. I started to feel sore/swollen on my breast. So much pain as well. I don't know what it means but although the pain is tolerable sometimes pain is pain.

September 23, 2011: DAY 17th It was my first TVS/FM for this cycle. I was kinda surprised and so happy to find out that  I have a leading follicle on my right ovary size is 1.40cm and my lining is starting to thicken by 1.10cm .although they still consider this small but they said as they passed by it was supposed to grow and grow from 2-4cm per day. Still, my Left ovary considers PCOS a few small follicles were found on both ovaries. Still suffering pain in my breast sore or swollen I don't know. and Still experiencing time to time pain in my lower abdomen. They said that pain can be considered I'm starting to have a Dominant follicle or during ovulation. Still crossing our fingers...

September 24, 2011: DAY 18th We need to see my OB. We went to her clinic for check up. She said that my PCOS are getting better and so much improvement. Even I have a leading follicle still its not a good size we need to wait till it grow. then she said she will double the dosage of my Clomiphene by the next cycle October 2011 IF and ONLY IF i will be having my period again. (crossing our fingers, Hope not!!) then she advise me to take repeat TVS/FM on monday September 26, 2011 and i need to text her the size of my Follicle after TVS. I lost 11lbs from  197lbs now 186lbs.I hope I can still do it for the next visit to lose another 11lbs with the help of my hubby and GOD above.

My OB advise us to continue our BD for another week and still every other day. It will be the battle of wanting to have our baby on our own.



September 26, 2011: DAY 20th Getting more and more nervous. This is the day i need to repeat my TVS and to check if my leading follicle on my right ovary grow or change in size. GOD is so good to us that he let my leading follicle to be Dominant Follicle. It grow on a size of 1.8cm and my Lining thickened more on 1.50cm so happy and nervous at the same time. Continue Baby Dance!!!!! =') Praying so hard...

September 29, 2011: DAY 23rd Last Monday I asked my OB if I can again try to have repeat TVS/FM just for me to check if everything is doing well and alright. Again nervous but i need to face my fear. I hope soon it will burst out and I will ovulate. Then I found out my Follicle still there but this time grew about A cm. 1.9cm and the OB said the shape is not circle anymore its quite oval in shape that signs of anytime it will burst out as the OB who conduct my TVS said. She even ask me if my OB already gave me a pill to help the Follicle to burst out I said not yet and she said maybe my OB still waiting for it to grow about 2.0cm or more a bit. But I so confuse now when i got home i noticed my Lining size says in the TVS is 0.9cm my question is is this right? I was size 1.50cm ba efore but here is size 0.9cm so confuse and so many questions played on my mind. I felt a bit fear about it. Although she said that my lining are starting to thickened as well but i so surprise that i is like this.  Planning to have another TVS/FM on Monday DAY 27th

We are specially me PRAYING so hard. I always communicate with GOD. That he give me a chance to be a mom on my child and be a father of my DH. I'm PRAYING so hard that he will grant us what makes my life complete. This is the only wish i have for my whole life to build my own Family. 

I thank GOD for all the blessings he keeps on giving us. For saving me every time I need a savior. He is always my Protector and my faith.